two

actually the number two IRL

Thanks for playing, everyone. I'll see you around.


Square Root of Minus Garfield is a daily webcomic that achieves the incredible feat that even the original Garfield could not: coming up with a new Garfield-based joke every day. They do this by accepting submissions from anyone and apparently not really filtering by quality. It's brilliant, I love it, and I love how anyone can contribute to this neverending Garfield-themed arts project. Anyway here's mine!



I can't believe this. I haven't been to a restaurant in so long that I genuinely thought I must have just been mistaken about what "entrée" meant. I kept seeing stuff from Americans describing the three courses of a meal as "appetizer", "entrée", and "dessert", and I'd always think "that's odd, why would you have two starters and no main course? Must just be some weird thing fancy restaurants do". Why did we let this happen - and how?



Recognising the desire for "divination" tools that can be used to gain information about uncertain future events,
Understanding the potential benefits of constructing healthy "rituals", otherwise known as habits,
Considering that microwave oats are one of the more complex breakfast foods, requiring measuring, pouring, stirring, and making sure it doesn't explode in the microwave,
Assuming that the ability to complete one complex task is indicative of an overall ability to complete other complex tasks,
Further assuming that this ability is maintained over the timespan of one day, but not necessarily any longer,
Believing that placing superstition on a morning routine on purpose is a good idea,
I have
Developed a system of Divination via Microwave Oats,
Wherein I attempt to make microwave oats in the morning and use my performance at this as an indicator of how well the following day is going to go for me overall.



mrfb
@mrfb

the frequency of “uhh can… does anyone know where to find that post of the… it’s like a cute can of green beans devouring a hedge maze?”-type posts is indicative that there is a long-term issue around the lack of full-text search / relying only on tags for searchability

which is why, as of today, i’m announcing the opening of my new private investigator business, but only for Finding Lost Posts


two
@two

becoming tempted to start constructing my own private library of posts that I see that I suspect somebody might lose and want to find later at some point so I can find them every time, by extension providing competition to this Private Investigator business